Always, do it anyway!

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The only way to be happy and successful; Do it Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight;
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten;
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

– Mother Teresa

• Tasks, to do lists, etc? Anyone use them? I use Outlook tasks and paper lists. I am finding that I really would like a solution for my iPhone so I always have it with me, but I have yet to find any good ideas. One blog post suggested Toodledo and an Outlook Sync tool…great, tried it…it synced my Outlook tasks once and now won’t sync anymore…grrr. Any other grand solutions out there? I have toyed with the idea of just using ToodleDo, minus the Outlook sync part but I am not sure how easy it would be for me to get used to NOT using tasks in Outlook and only using a web/iphone version….hmmmm…..

• Today was my fourth workout/run since my surgery and I am still struggling. Is my energy level EVER going to be back to what it was?! I forced myself to run for 45 minutes yesterday, but couldn’t make it past 25 minutes today. Bryan tells me I need to cut myself a little slack, considering I am only 2 weeks post-op but it is frustrating to me, because I know what I can do. Blah.

• Spring break here starts next week and it looks like Jacey will be at my Mom’s. Will be a good break for us, considering I will be crazy busy at work next week gearing up for Palm Sunday and Easter and Jacey will probably be a good distration for my Mom. I am not looking forward to two eleven hour trips, to meet halfway, but such is life when you don’t live in the same city you grew up in. I did tell Bryan though that this would give us a built in babysitter to go see Fast & Furious when it comes out on the 3rd :).

• This song has been stuck in my head for DAYS now…I love it!

Click here to view the embedded video.

• Dinner tonight was fabulous, probably the best dinner I have made in months. I made Chicken with Twenty Cloves of Garlic and Roasted Vegetables (potatoes, garlic, onions, carrots and asparagus) with milk chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert. The chicken was a new recipe from the Spring 2009 Kraft Food & Family magazine and a definite keeper. As for the veggies, I just threw them together. I took potatoes, carrots and onions and did a rough chop, tossed with salt, olive oil and Italian seasoning and then baked for 30 minutes on 400. I did the same to the asparagus and garlic, then added after the initial 30 minutes for another 30 minutes, stirring both batches every 15 to 20 minutes. Once they were fork tender, I pulled them out and gave them a sprinkle of freshly grated parm. As for the chicken, I followed the recipe except I let the sauce cook down a bit more at the end to make it thicker. I am not a huge fan of garlic, but cooking it this way makes it so mild and sweet, I loved it!

• Monday, I also got my stitches out. Everything looks good and no *heavy* activities for 4-6 more weeks (i.e. changing a tire…yes, he honestly used that example). I am cleared to run, but just plan to finish out this week with walking and go back to running next week, since my belly button area is still tender. (Strike that, I ran anyway.) I was a bit bummed, because I can’t get a fill till the end of April BUT, I know it is better this way. Gives me a chance to get back on track with my food choices, bite sizes and speed before it becomes a pain (literally).

• Where I live it is bathing suit season AND I finally tan again. YAY!! So, Friday I started the search for a new suit since none of the ones I have fit anymore. Tried on 7 different suits with no luck. Did find board short, but no suit. Monday, while we were in Pensacola for my appointment, I looked again, trying on 13 different suits. 20 suits thus far and not a one of them that I liked and fit…sigh. I have a few more places to look, but if I don’t find something soon, I may just have to go topless…would definitely be a good way to clear the beach!

• With the job market and the economy being the way it is today, don’t you think ALL businesses would be a *bit* more concerned about customer service?! We had a kick butt server at Longhorn last week. He got me the meal that I wanted, even though it wasn’t in the lunch menu, kept drinks refilled, checked on us often enough to be attentive but no so much he was a pest, etc. He was great and our tip reflected that. Then, on Monday, we had a complete 180 at TGI Friday’s. Waitress took 10 minutes to take our drink order, another 10 to bring them and we were in the restaurant 55 minutes before our food came. She didn’t come back to check on us until the end and then almost walked off after Jacey ordered her dessert without waiting to see if Bry and I wanted anything. Then, after she took our check it was another 15 to bring it back for me to sign. Ridiculous! The resturant was not busy and they didn’t appear short-handed. I don’t know about anyone else, but I am so thankful to have a job and a secure income right now, that I put effort into my work.

• Today was my first day back in the gym since my surgery last week and I can defintely tell I still don’t have all my energy back yet. I had planned on only walking for a few days, but couldn’t keep myself from running once I got on the treadmill. I only ran for 15 minutes before I pooped out, then walked with an incline for another 15. I’m tired, but feel SO much better being active again.

• Our building project at work is moving along quickly and the new building will be open for use in August. This means, that I will be moving upstairs to an office closer to my bosses once the children’s people vacate to the new building. I am excited, I will have a window again and natural light just brightens the spirit (in my current office, I don’t have a window but have the blessing of not having to share even though I am only a part-timer). Now I need to figure out what color to paint…do I keep my current office color of jadesheen or go for something different? I dunno. I need to find out if I get to buy a new desk, since the one in the office now is going with the children’s people and the color of the desk might weigh in on paint color needs. I’ll be sure to share pics once I am all moved this summer.

• Has anyone seen the previews for the new Fast & Furious? I loved the first one and the other two were okay, but Vin Diesel is what made it for me. Well, he is back in the fourth one and it will be set in original locatin too. I told Bryan he HAS to take me to see it at the Rave!

I for one, grew up believing that PDA’s were not acceptable at church. What do you think? Seems in today’s day and age anything goes!?

LOL!

I was walking upstairs Tuesday at work when I was presented with this. Of course, me and my twisted mind ran back to my office to get my phone in hopes that they would still be there when I got back. Lo and behold, they were so *into* each other that they hadn’t moved a milimeter.

So, now that PDA’s are allowed at church, what’s next?!

:-)

So Jace and I headed to McD’s after VBS today to pick up some lunch before heading home. I got my normal and she got a 4 piece nugget happy meal. I pay, get up to the second window and get my food. Before I can even say anything, they shut the window. I wait, because I need my sauce…it is the most important part of the meal…LOL! She finally opens the window and I ask for sweet & sour and barbeque. She hands me 2 sweet & sour (pay close attention to the two). I then ask if I can have barbeque. At this point she informs me that they can only give out 1 package of sauce per every 4 nuggets.

My response, “You are kidding, right?”

No. Mind you she has already handed me two packages. Heck, I was even willing to trade one s&s for a bbq. Eventually she relented, I guess because she realized I wasn’t going anywhere and the line was backing up.

All I could think was that I just spent $10 at your establishment yet, I am going to rip you off via nugget sauce.

Really….LOL!

2. An awesome lunch with my bosses this week…I am very blessed to have the job that I do.

3. My PCM agreed to put in a referral for the LB surgery (and I have my oncologists blessing), now we just pray the surgeon approves it.

4. An awesome relationship with Jacey.

5. A very secure marriage.

Here are the rules for a little blog post about me:
1. go to www.flickr.com
2. type in your answer to the question in the “search” box
3. use only the first page to choose your picture
4. copy the html and paste for the answer

Easy enough? Well here goes:

1. What is your first name ?

2. Favourite Food?

3. What school did you go to?

4.What is your favourite colour?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. Who is your favourite Disney Princess?

7. Favourite Drink?

8. Dream Vacation?

9. Favourite Dessert?

10. What did you want to be when you grew up?

11. What do you love most in life?

12. One word to describe you?

13. What do you dream about?

At 28 years old, I have cancer.

I have a form of cancer that that normally only affects people 70+ years old. One chart I looked at, didn’t even have a measurable amount of cases, per 100,000 people till the 35-39 age range. *Sigh*

I have CLL, Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. I’m still not sure how I feel about it, I’m almost numb. I did link to the American Cancer Society page on CLL if you care to read about it…I’m not up to typing it all out right now.

Next step is a bone marrow biopsy on March 6th so we can get an idea of how advanced it is and start my baseline. For the time being, I will just be monitored with frequent bloodwork and visits. The norm is not to treat CLL unless it starts causing problems, because it is incurable and often times, the side effects of the treatments are worse than the symptoms of the cancer alone. Of course, being the rare case that I am, who knows. Treatment options do include chemo and bone marrow transplants among other things. Dr. G (my hematologist/oncologist) does believe that this is the key to why I am always so utterly tired. She wants me to continue life as normal, there is nothing really that she advises against (other than being around sick people, since I will likely have a higher risk of infection) but she does want me to not be ashamed to take naps and rest when necessary.

For the time being, we stay here. We are lucky to have one of the thirteen oncologists in the Air Force here at Eglin. Bryan talked to his command today, to let them know about the situation and to see about getting his file Q coded so we can only go places that will have the care necessary for me. Ultimately, if/when the times comes though and I need more advanced treatment than what they can offer here, we would probably be sent to Wilford Hall/Brooks Army Medical Center in San Antonio since they have one of the most advanced facilities in the military.

As of now though, I only know the basics and won’t know anything else until after my biopsy and the results come back. I know that many of you will be concerned, but please don’t call right now. I am simply not ready to talk about it. We also don’t plan to tell Jacey until we have more info, so please watch what you say around her, she’s one smart little girl and picks up on things you have no idea she would.

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Previous post from 01.17.2008

So apparently I am a medical mystery. This whole ordeal goes back about a month and who knows how much longer it will continue. There will be some possibly TMI stuff so beware.

• December 14th – A trip to the doctor because my PCOS has been going haywire and I am REALLY tired of having 2-3 cycles a month. They did labs and my white blood cell count was 25,000. Normal is between 4,000-9,000. Most common cause of elevated white blood cell counts is an infection.

• December 19th – Follow up visit with my PCM and more blood work. Turns out I have a UTI (even though I had NO symptoms at all) and they think that is the cause. I don’t remember what my white blood cell count was but I started antibiotics.

• December 28th – Follow up visit after my round of antibiotics. UTI is gone but my white blood cell count is still 22,000. My PCM is lost as to why, so she orders a chest xray to check on lymph nodes and refers me to the hematologist.

• January 14th – Labs and then an appointment with the hematologist. My white blood cell count is now at 24,000 and there are asymmetrical white blood cells in the smear she looked at but they are normal (huh?). She did bring up the “c” word but says I don’t fit the most common stereotypes; I’m not older, I’m not a smoker, I don’t feel sick, etc. My choices are a flow cytometry test or just cut to the chase and do a bone marrow biopsy/aspiration. I opted to do the flow cytometry test first, since it is just a regular blood draw on my end. I will probably still have to have the bone marrow biopsy but right now, I just could not mentally fathom it. My aunt died from Hodgkin’s Disease after a bone marrow transplant and while I know it is not the same, it still bothers me.

• January 17th – Had my flow cytometry test done up at the base after and whole fiasco of them trying to tell me they don’t do it. I sure hope they got it shipped off to Wilford Hall like required. Results will take 1-2 weeks, so here I sit…waiting.

Ten Things People Won’t Guess By Just Looking At You
1. I am bipolar
2. I am 28
3. I have a genius level IQ
4. I am a good cook
5. I am creative
6. I am extremely flexible
7. I despise clutter
8. I am an introvert
9. I have moved more times in my life than I have fingers and toes
10. I love to read.

Nine Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. Go skydiving
2. Go to Paris and London again
3. Design and build our own home
4. Be a size 12 or smaller
5. Get published in a photography magazine
6. Run a half-marathon
7. Fly first class
8. See Jacey graduate college
9. See Bryan graduate college

Eight Things You Say Everyday
1. Jacey, go find something to do
2. B-R-Y-A-N
3. I love You
4. NO
5. I’m tired
6. What?
7. Whatever
8. Did you have a good sleep?

Seven Things You Hate
1. Ignorance
2. Dishonesty
3. My weight
4. People who think they are above you
5. Bad Drivers
6. Disrespectful Neighbors
7. Whining

Six Things You Love To Do
1. Sleep
2. Travel
3. Snuggle with Jacey
4. Scrapbook
5. Read
6. Take Pictures

Five People You Look Up To
1. Jesus
2. My Dad
3. Bryan
4. Mr. Dave
5. Mrs. Marti

Four Places You Want To Visit
1. Tenerife
2. NYC
3. Hong Kong
4. Germany

Three Things You Think You Could Do Without
1. TV
2. Meat
3. Telephones

Two Things You Never Want To Do
1. Serve on jury
2. Stand before God, ashamed

One Person Who Has Changed Your Life For The Better
1. Bryan