Christian. Air Force Wife. Mommy. Runner. Surviving cancer. Girl geek. Photographer. Ice cream addict. Flip flop wearer. Stubborn. Smart. Sassy. OHM. Web designer. Graphic designer. Digital scrapbook supply collector. Creative Arts Assistant. Lead foot. Moody. Loving. Introvert. Volunteer. Organized. Music lover. UK misser. Niceville resident. Texas Girl at heart. Swimmer. Happy. Fulfilled.
Just me. Lacey.
For Amy, by request.
No hating, it has been a long day, I look like crap and apparently can’t keep track of my days. I didn’t realize the error until after it was done and I wasn’t redoing 4 minutes. So deal ;p!
http://www.buchorn.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/030110-HRMvlog.flv
You know that knee tweaking I talked about in my last post?! Yeah, it is still here and the consensus is that is is probably IT Band Syndrome..fun times :(. The best solution is to stay off of it, ice it and take anti-inflammatories (like I have time to stay off of it being a single mom right now…sigh). So, that means no running, elliptical, biking, lunges, squats, practically anything for at least a week after the injury, which means, I am out till Wednesday. Boo. So long as I can run with Bryan when we go see him, that is all I ask (oh, and be able to walk through the airport without the pain I am in now would be good too).
Anyway…
So, the whole weight thing…I’ve really been giving it a lots of thought in the past few days. When does enough become enough? Am I happy here or do I TRULY want to go lower or am I only set on going lower because I feel that is what I am expected to do? Like, I had surgery so I am expected to be tiny and if I gain 5 pounds, I am a failure?! I dunno. Originally, I had my goal set at 160 which was lower than what I weighed when Bryan and I got married. I was happy there. But, a few months into the process, I set a second goal for 140 because, well, I don’t know why. Maybe because it put me into a “normal” BMI?! Maybe because I am so short I felt like I needed to be smaller than 160, who knows. But, I was HAPPY at 165 and I am lower than that now.
Well, I have decided enough is enough. I am tired of constantly thinking about those “last few pounds”, tired of feeling guilty if I want a dessert. Heck, my original non-weight goal was to be able to shop anywhere again, i.e. a size 14. I am now a size 8/10 (I would be a solid 8 if I could get a tummy tuck but let’s not go there, very frustrated with the military about that issue) and finding clothes that fit is no issue. In fact I would LOVE to be done if only for the fact that I would allow myself to actually buy clothes again. This having a skeleton wardrobe because I don’t want to “waste” money sucks.
Done. I am done. I plan to keep up with my exercise because like I said in my last post it is a part of me now. Still make healthy choices but not focus on losing weight. I am also leaning towards moving my weigh-ins to every 2 weeks as opposed to every week. Bryan loves me the size I am now (not that he ever didn’t love me, but he actually told me tonight that I was perfect), now I need to learn to love ME.
Since I got my fill yesterday, I am going to jump back on track and get these last 20 pounds off. To do that, I must make some changes, so I am going to put them out there and I need YOUR help to keep me accountable.
Go off the Yaz. It is not helping my skin (which is why I started taking it again), nor my kooky cycles and instead is causing TONS of side effects (too many to list here). Let’s just say it did not do this to me when I took it last year but it will never again be in my body after I finish the pack Saturday. Bry has had the big “V”, so I don’t need it for the designed purpose anyway and they can figure something else out for the skin.
Eat my protein first. Easy enough.
Hit the gym or go running at least 3-4x a week. Not this 2 maybe 3 if I am lucky, like I have been doing the last few months.
Only eat ice cream when I am out. No more buying it for the house. I can’t ban it, I like it too much but I can’t have it in the house either because then I have no control.
I figure, that is a good start. It worked before when I was losing steadily, so there is no reason why it won’t again.
Thirteen random thoughts on my mind in the present.
1. So, Thursday’s. I have had to alter my workouts, sine Jacey is now taking baton twirling on Thursday’s. I used to go up to the base gym as soon as I got off work, but now I am going to run either outside or in the CLC gym while she is in class. Killing two birds with one stone…eh :). I just did a short run yesterday, trying to eyeball a route. Time wise, I should be able to double it and still not be late picking her up…3 miles won’t be too shabby.
2. My body is so not my friend right now. We bought Wii Active last weekend for me to use on the days I can’t make it to the gym and it is kicking my butt! I am currently doing the 30 day workout plan on moderate (there is 3 levels). Why is it that I can run for 45 minutes with no pain, but do 3 Wii Active workouts with a resistance band and my own body resistance and am dying?! Go figure.
3. Is the rain ever going to stop? Just a little over it here.
4. My truck is all nice and clean on the inside now. The rain really makes a mess of my black on black interior and a friend is riding with me tomorrow. Couldn’t let her see the mess, I’d be embarrassed. Guess I ended up with an hour long workout today anyway, even after deciding it would be a rest day :).
5. You know, my band is fickle. Oscar (the grouch) is definitely an appropriate name for it. I can eat almost anything, steak, chicken, etc except bread, rice and pasta. And bananas…go figure. I am not a huge fan of bananas but like one occasionally and get stuck every darn time.
6. A few days ago, I booked our camping weekend. Yes, you heard me right and no, I am not loosing my mind…I think. Anyone that truly knows me, is probably pretty doubtful at this point though :). We are going to Florida Caverns State Park from October 23rd-25th and staying in a tent. Bryan and Jacey have begged me for years and I finally gave in. I’ve been there before as a child, my uncle even got married there. Anyone local have any camping equipment we can borrow before I hit up Outdoor Rec?
7. For Thanksgiving this year, I think we are going to go work in the Waterfront Mission’s soup kitchen. I worked in one when I was around Jacey’s age and it is an experience that I have never forgotten. I think it will be a really good life lesson for Jacey, that even though they may not “have” the material things we do, they are people and important just the same. We drive through a few sections of trailers that are not very well kept up every day and she has been really noticing the “differences” here lately. I really want to do anything possible to keep her from being judgmental based on financial status.
8. Then, on Black Friday we are going to head to Tampa for the weekend while all the crazies are out shopping. We’ll hit up Busch Gardens one day and no clue what yet the next. Maybe the zoo or the aquarium?! I’d love to do a hot air balloon ride but they are CRAZY expensive for the 3 of us.
9. And Christmas. This year we are staying home. I am sure family won’t be too thrilled, but I’d just like a peaceful season instead of the rush, rush that happens when you travel. Yes, I am being selfish this year.
10. Bryan’s work is going to drive me to drinking…sigh. They are so short on people and those they do have are misfits. From week to week, his schedule is changing from days to swings which makes planning anything, including my necessary doctor’s appointments totally impossible. Is it time to retire yet?
11. Anyone out there have any opinions on the whole H1N1 vaccine? I am really not too keen on getting it, I feel it has been rushed but don’t really think I will have much of a choice for myself or Jacey. Bryan being military HAS to get it and with me being immunocompromised, I am scheduled in the first group. I know I can say no, but it scares me regardless. If I did not have cancer, I would definitely say no for both Jacey and I but….I mean, I never even got a regular flu shot till last year, my first flu season with cancer. Thankfully, neither J nor I have ever had the flu (last year was her first shot too).
12. Tomorrow is our Relay For Life Early Bird Bash (training) out in Navarre. Laura (the event chair…my “boss”:) is riding with me and I am sure we will have lots of fun. We are so much alike, it is scary at times.
13. Did you know they make drumsticks with no nuts? In mint, vanilla and vanilla fudge at that…SCORE! I am going to go have one right now…