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back on track.

January 16, 2010

I am going to be honest here. I have hidden it for the last few months behind smiles, but I am not smiling inside.

I have fallen…hard. Since September, I gained 13 pounds, I am now down to only 10.2 but still, 13 pounds! My total lack of caring has erased 5 months of hard work. 5 months of bettering myself and feeling good about my self. Why?

Sure, I could blame it on stress, I mean we do have TDYs, PCS, budget and job changes in the near future. I had the stress of working at a church during Christmas AND amidst a huge renovation project.

But, I don’t think it was that. I think I just gave up. Took on a “why bother” attitude.

I think I have been spending too much time comparing myself to everyone else and their losses compared to mine. Then, I read a verse today that really hit me.

“Do your own work well, and then you will have something to be proud of. But don’t compare yourself with others.” Galatians 6:4 (CEV)

I am really hard on myself, hence why none of my weight loss attempts before the band would work. One mess up and I gave up. Not this time though. I am done “giving up” and done comparing myself to others. Sure, I am still going to screw up, that is human nature but the only failure is giving up. I need to realize that I have less to lose now, so it IS going to be slower and that although you can’t tell by looking at me from the outside, I am an active leukemia patient. It is there everyday affecting every part of my body. I need to “man up” to this fact and simply do the best *I* can do.

So, I am officially getting back on track.

What does this mean for me? Well, for starters…

Tracking my food, good or bad
Opening up my food diary and being accountable to “anyone”, see it here
Drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day
Exercising at least 3x a week, even if my fatigue only allows a 10 minute walk – I was successful last week and this week, although I have discovered my body can’t handle the 3 days in a row I have been doing
Stay at my calorie goal at least 6 days a week
Allow myself 1 day a week that I can go over by 500 max
Not allow snacks/desserts in the house that are more than 250 calories, those have to be gone “out” for

These aren’t hard goals, but I do need to get back in sync with them. I did them easily for 14 months and I CAN do them again.

Posted in 1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4Given, da band, random ramblings | 7 Comments »

Merry CHRISTmas!

December 25, 2009

I just wanted to pop in and say Merry CHRISTmas! My mom and brother are here, celebrating Christmas with us for the first time since Jacey’s 1st back in 2001. I won’t be around much till they leave, but I wish you all a blessed day full of family, friends, food, peace, love and joy :).

I realize not everyone shares my beliefs, but since it is my blog, I wanted to leave you with *my* reason for celebrating!

__________

“In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ[a] the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.” Luke 2:1-20 (NIV)

Posted in 1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4Given, random ramblings | 1 Comment »

speed limit nonexistent

August 23, 2009

Do you ever feel like you are cruising along in life with no speed limit? Driving the Autobahn, going as fast as you can, just because you can, even though it is not good nor safe?

Sigh…that’s been a pretty accurate description of my last few weeks. Trying to meet mine and everyone else’s needs, wants and expectations even though it is causing my stress level to shoot out of the roof and my fatigue to almost become crippling. Will I ever learn? Let’s just go back through the last week, I won’t even torture you with the last few.

Where do we start…oh, Monday. Monday, I had work, Jacey had a dentist appointment and then we started painting my new office. Finally made it home about..oh…8pm.

Tuesday, yes, I remember that day. We finally got to have our 10th anniversary flight (thank you God for allowing the weather to cooperate) and it was awesome. Since we had a sitter, Bry and I headed to lunch and then went to work. That afternoon/evening, we painted some more till we ran out of paint. Went to Crestview for paint (good thing Lowe’s stays open till 9pm, we barely made it) and dinner.

Oh wait, let’s not forget that I had a dentist appointment on Tuesday as well.

Wednesday, we finally got to start putting my furniture together in the new office. Only got partway through the first piece, because we had to head off to Pensacola for my doctor appointment. Finished Jacey’s school shopping while we were there and had dinner with a new friend. Came home and totally crashed.

Thursday, is my crazy day at work, so no breathing room there. Then, we dove headfirst back into furniture building. Why exactly did I not get it assembled before delivery?! Oh yeah, because I was trying to be a good steward and save the church some money…sigh. Even the whole family joined in building today. Managed to get all the pieces built and the only thing left is to screw the hutch to the desk.

Friday…yes, Friday…my day off. I actually got to sleep in an hour…LOL! We had Jacey’s open house/meet the teacher (so totally not impressed) and then headed back up to the church to finish my office. Got the desk connected, furniture in place and computer hooked up. Everything else is still sitting in boxes waiting for me to tackle tomorrow (Monday). Finally came home at 4:30pm because Jacey was supposed to go to the Destin Y for Parent’s Night Out and we were supposed to have a date night. The weather canceled pno although I cannot say I was too depressed. Tired can’t even begin to explain what I felt/feel like.

Now where are we..oh yes, Saturday. I did actually get to sleep in till 9am and it was pure bliss. Poor Bryan had to be up at 7am so he could take care of the yard. Saturday was the ribbon cutting and Kids Blitz. We had a fantabulous time and Jacey did great at the ribbon cutting. Kids Blitz was lots of fun and J even got picked to participate up on stage. Afterwards, we headed into FWB to don some more office shopping (since Bryan is making me put up pics this time…LOL). Found 2 frames at AC Moore, a wooden saying for my desk and a vinyl wall saying (it is a scripture verse) for above my hutch. Now I need to find/edit 2 pics for the frames and get them ordered. I can’t wait to see it all finished. Dinner was Olive Garden, even though I had meat thawed. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times we have eaten out this week and how much money we have spent on food. I’d probably get depressed.

Finally today. Church and Sunday school which marks day 8 up at the church. Don’t get me wrong, I love the church and love working there but the only place I want to be at THAT much is my house (or maybe Paris…yeah, definitely Paris:). Came home from there, ate lunch and crashed. Dummy me though forgot to set my phone to vibrate and in turn, the phone that rarely rings rang at the most inopportune time. Cleaned up Jacey’s room, got all her new school clothes hung up and made dinner. Now, here I sit doing nothign really. I should be editing pics for my office so I can get them ordered but I am not. Instead, I am going to finish this blog post, go eat my chocloate covered strawberries I was too full after dinner to eat and go to bed. Tomorrow it is back to work and back to school for my new little 2nd grader and another crazy week of things I need to do.

I need a vacation…

P.S. Maybe this will explain my lack of posting a bit though…eh :)?!

P.S.S Forgive the pics, I am too lazy to edit them right now.

Posted in 1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4Given, I *heart* a guy in uniform, bragging on the {military} brat, me, no more SAHMommy, random ramblings | 2 Comments »

Thursday Thirteen

August 6, 2009

Thirteen random thoughts on my mind today.

1. I am learning recently that I am not superwoman as much as I want to be. There are some things that I have to let go of to maintain my sanity and a life.

2. Since the children’s building is almost finished at work, I am getting ready for the move to my new office. I had two to choose from, so I went up and chose this week. Bryan measured it for me and then I proceeded to go furniture shopping. What an ordeal. I found this first set which I fell in love with. Priced it online and then went to go order it from our contract sales website for that company. Total price was almost $1000 more than the regular website. Huh? What gives there. I left a message with our contract sales rep in hopes that they could get me a better deal but no call back, so I went shopping some more.

I found this second set at one of the other places we shop at and truly think it will work better. The first set still has my heart for finish and design but this set is more functional. This set was also more on our contract site versus the regular site but only by right under $100. I don’t understand why business customers get higher prices yet, we are bringing them business on a regular basis and typically in bulk. So, now I wait on our sales rep to get back with me and get these pieces ordered next week when I am back in the office.

The office is a rectangle but has a window, so my current paint color, jadesheen will be way too bright. So, I am going with this color, asparagus. I also plan to use chalkboard paint to make a rectangle over the credenza unit and then either find a vintage frame to finish it or some molding. Not sure what else yet. I get to move in the week of the 17th and can’t wait!

3. I noticed this morning, that I am no longer losing hair. YAY! About time.

4. On the other hand, my hormones are out of whack again. I thought the weight loss had helped the PCOS issues but they are back. Skin is breaking out like crazy, I feel like I am 14 again and that monthly womanly thing is nuts again after 8 months of regularity. I really need to get in to see my doc, but who has time?!

5. Speaking of the children’s building, Jacey gets to be one of the ribbon cutters at the grand opening on the 22nd. How cool is that! Our senior pastor will be holding the ribbon and Jacey and our junior pastor’s older son will be cutting it.

6. I finally updated the pics/video on the webpage if you’d like to take a peek. One of these days, I’ll get an update email sent out as well (I’d advise you not to hold your breath on that one:).

7. The word cancer is evoking some not so nice feelings from me these past few weeks. I am SO tired of being SO tired.

8. I finally found J’s school supply list on the school’s website, so we can start tackling that. Haven’t heard from the school yet about teacher/open house although I would think that should be any day now. Only 2 more weeks and a few days till school starts. Gee, I can’t believe I have a second grader now!

9. I am debating on taking a class at church with semester on Wednesday evenings while J is in H20. My friend Steph is teaching a class called “One Month to Live” which sounds really interesting but I am REALLY bad about sticking with classes. Adult onset ADD perhaps?!

10. Tomorrow is a squadron bowling event that I agreed to participate in. Wish me luck, this is the first “military” event I have done in a while. I normally stay pretty far away because there is typically a lot of drama that tends to ensue.

11. Made this for dinner tonight and it was delish…or should I say yummo, since it is a Rachael Ray recipe :).

12. Instead of doing what I should have been doing earlier, I played around again. Perhaps this is why I don’t get as much done as I should?!

Before

After
Totally Rad Actions: Oh Snap! @ 100%, Rusty Cage @ 100%, Claire-ify @ 80% and Yin/Yang as needed

13. I have only been working on this blog post, off and on since 6:30am…it is time for me to go to bed.

Posted in 1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4Given, AFYFE life, CLL, Thursday Thirteen, bragging on the {military} brat, da band, me, no more SAHMommy, random ramblings, through my lens, what's cookin' | No Comments »

project 365: 365 pieces of me {day 275}

July 30, 2009

My faith. While I do not push it on anybody, I do wear it proudly!

Tags: photography, project 365, TRA
Posted in 1 Cross + 3 Nails = 4Given, project 365 | No Comments »