![embrace [felicity]](http://www.buchorn.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/keep-cal-and-embrace-felicity-green-blog-400px.jpg "embrace [felicity]")
About Lacey
Christian. Air Force Wife. Mommy. Runner. Swimmer. Yoga lover. Surviving cancer. Girl geek. Photographer. Ice cream addict. Flip flop wearer. Stubborn. Smart. Sassy. OHM. Web designer. Graphic designer. Digital scrapbook supply collector. Lead foot. Moody. Loving. Introvert. Volunteer. Organized. Las Vegas resident. Texas Girl at heart. Happy. Fulfilled. Just me.
I moved into my new office right before the new year but just finally got it presentable enough to share pictures of. I didn’t get any good pictures of it before but several in process and now. It was a yucky brown-ish mauv-ish color so Bryan painted, did electrical and laid the baseboards for me. I still need to put pictures up on the wall, but I LOVE having my own space!
Click on the picture to view the whole album…
Jacey is trouble with a capital T. :-)
Normally she is a really good kids at school, having only come home with something other than a green stamp a handful of times. This week however, she came home with blue twice (one step down from green). On Monday it was because she wouldn’t quit making silly noises…okay, fair enough. Today…well, she came home with a folder full of notes she was writing to the boys. At 6!
While I am not happy about her getting in trouble and distracting the class, I couldn’t help but laugh, probably the first authentic laugh all week. Part of me wanted to discipline her and the other part wanted to say “hey, at least she is writing”, which was a big part of what her teacher wanted to her excel at this year.
*sigh* What am I going to do with her :-)?!
1. Although I now have cancer, it could be worse….it could be a much more serious, aggressive form.
2. Friends, family and strangers for their love and concern. I am very blessed.
3. Bryan for his strength, I cannot imagine what he is going through with my diagnosis and his Nana’s health.
4. Jacey for her laughs, that I so desperately needed this week.
5. My faith!
So I finally decided to pull myself out of my pity party and hand it over to God. And, imagine this…I finally slept last night…REALLY slept…the first time since Sunday night.
I do have to send out a big thank you to a few special people that gave me the kick in the backside that I needed. I am very controlling by nature and have a tendency to want to hold on to issues instead of giving them up to God. I often need that reminder. God and I had a long talk yesterday and while I am still going through a range of emotions, I am letting go. It’s in His hands.
Thank you again to all of you for your words, prayers and concern. I plan to respond to each one of you but it will take a bit, since there were SO many!
I just want to say thank you for the outpouring of love and prayers from family, friends AND even strangers. I feel very blessed to have a group of people like you all surrounding me.
As for me, I am doing okay. Still a little shell-shocked. I went back to work yesterday, I needed something to keep me busy. Even so, as the hours/days go on, I am dealing with it bit by bit. Remembering things that were said at my appointment and starting to feel a bit.
Right now I am feeling guilt, anger and apprehension. I was talking to Bryan earlier and had a revelation. For about 1.5 years now, I have constantly been tired…my favorite phrase seemed to have become “I’m so TIRED of being tired”. I kept hoping that once I got used to working, or a change in diet, exercise, activity, season, etc would change that. It hit me today that now I am faced with it never going away and how unfair that is for Jacey. She’s only 6, she needs a Mom that can keep up with her and has the energy to play with her and frankly right now I am mad about it and feel extremely guilty.
I just want to stomp my feet and yell out that “life is not fair” and ask God why?! Today though, I was led to 2 verses that really called out to me.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 2:28
“When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
They go right along with the song that was playing when I got back in the truck after my diagnosis. I should have known God was speaking to me then but I was too busy distracting myself instead of listening. I mean, there could have been any of about 2000 songs playing on my ipod at that moment. It may sound weird but through music is when I hear God the most, mainstream or Christian, it does not matter. At any of the rough or joyous parts of my life, there has always been some song that I have felt pulled to and spoken through.
So, I leave you with that song. THIS is how I want to live my life, each day is a GIFT!
We Live by Superchic[k]
