Well, I put a skin on my blog only to take it back off. It was pretty and a lot of work to get it exactly how I wanted it but made me dizzy looking at it…LOL! Guess I am a minimalist in other areas too:-)

Why is it that weekends seem so short? I have so much I need to get done before my Mom and Cole get here but it just seems like I get further and further behind. Most of this weekend was spent messing with Jacey’s room and running errands. Today was a doctor appt, tomorrow is grocery shopping and then Wednesday is gymnastics…..aaaaaack! Mom is expected to get here late Thursday and with Bryan on swings, he can’t help as much as normal. Someone please pray for my sanity!!

Who on earth knew that bunk beds are SO hard to find??? Okay, truth be told they aren’t that hard to find IF you are not picky. Although, to be honest with you I didn’t think we were. We started a search, a few days ago for a simple, plain natural pine colored bunk bed. We had a budget of $500…didn’t think that was too unreasonable. Started my search online to get an idea of what was out there and found a perfect one at Ikea. Perfect simple design, perfect color (matches Jacey’s dresser and current Ikea shelves)…price, only $249 for the frame. Great…only one catch, the closest Ikea is in Atlanta…350 miles away!! So, for the time being, that was out…worse come to worst, my mom could pick it up on her way here since she will be driving right by an Ikea. Anyway, so our search continued. Yesterday, we call and/or went to probably 25 furniture stores around here. Many had bunk beds but they were either the wrong color, too ornate, metal or way out of our price range. Jeez, I didn’t even know they made $1000 bunk bed frames!

So, our search continued today. This morning, we called several places in Pensacola and got what we thought were a few leads on things that might actually work. Got dressed and drove over. Turns out, they were either cheaply made and looking or their version of natural pine was completely different from ours. At this point we were quite discouraged. Continued driving around and checking EVERY furniture/bedding store we passed (and let me tell you, you never realize just how many there are till you are looking). Finally, Bryan got an idea…what about a bare wood place? We had those in Houston, they are bound to have them here. Found one and what do you know, 3 bunk beds to choose from in the exact color we wanted! Success!! Now, why didn’t he think of that earlier:-). We get it bought and all loaded up, then head home. Once home, we unload it and then go on a search for twin mattresses. Can I beat my head on a wall now?? We call SEVERAL places and they either don’t have any in stock or want upwards of $150 EACH for just the mattress!! Oy, a 30 pound child is going to be sleeping on this, not a 200 pound adult, we do not need $300 worth of mattresses! We finally found some at the very last place we called…luckily, all it took was a few clicks to get a matching comforter ordered. I think I might have pulled my hair out had that been difficult too.

Tomorrow, we are going to put clear coat on the bed to protect it and get her old one out of her room. I can’t wait to see it all done! It better look REALLY good and Jacey better LOVE it for all the work it took…LOL!

Over the past several days, I have been updating our family website, making Christmas cards and framing pictures from our recent photo shoot. In amongst all of this, I have truly realized just how much weight I have gained in the past several years. I was a few pounds below my heaviest ever when we left the UK and all my same clothes from the last few years fit but now I can see the weight in my face. Not sure exactly when this happened as I don’t remember seeing it there before….maybe it is just the haircut..sure, let’s blame it on that…woudn’t that make it easy!

I have never been a skinny minny and truly never want to be. I have a large bone structure and honestly believe that if I was the 130 max that doctors say I should be at, I would look malnourished. Would I like to lose weight though, you betcha I would! It is a frustrating and tiring process for me though. I have PCOS which is already one strike against me but that shouldn’t make it practically impossible…should it? I dropped 20 pounds in the 4 months Bryan was deployed and within 1 month of him being home, it was all back…plus some. I dropped 14 pounds within a few weeks of being back in the states and although I have no clue if I have gained it back since I threw the scale out, I feel like I have. Both times, my activity level didn’t really change and if anything, I was eating worse but the weight just vanished…temporarily. Now when I was dedicated to trying to lose weight, doing Weight Watchers and going to Curves 3+ times a week, I didn’t drop a pound in 6 weeks. In fact, I GAINED 2.2 pounds…everyone says, of that was muscle…well, I would have believed that IF I had at least lost inches. But…nope.

What gives? How do I get this weight off? Will this lifetime battle with weight ever end?

Ever since we got orders here to Eglin and I found out that they do gastric bypass here, I have been heavily researching it. I have several friends that have nothing but success stories and yet I still can’t figure out if it is the right decision for me. I worry that I will not be able to enjoy life or cooking anymore, too stressed about what I can and cannot eat…I worry about losing too much weight…I worry about losing the weight too fast and having to have expensive plastic surgery to correct all the sagging skin. I also worry that I will go through all that and still not be happy or worse, that I will die.