1. 6 more days till I see Bryan!

2. My knee feels better and has made it through 2 workouts with no more issues.

3. Umbrellas, because all it does is rain around here. Sunshine state…whatever!

4. New clothes.

5. The nap I am going to take as soon as I hit publish and get a shower :).

Well, we are in the single digits now. Yes, I know we were *technically* there 2 days ago, but I have been too tired to sit down and attempt a coherent blog post. Only 7 more days, till we fly to San Antonio to spend a week with Bryan and see his UAS BSOC graduation where he gets his wings. Oh, sorry, it is RPV BSOC now. Sigh. You know the military, the ONLY constant is change.

We fly in Thursday evening and graduation is Friday. Then Saturday morning, we’ll meet my Mom halfway and she will have Jacey till Monday evening. Can you say alone time after a month apart ;). We are going to hit The Melting Pot on Saturday for an early V-Day dinner (I didn’t like the V-Day menu and that is all they are serving on the 14th), mariachi mass on Sunday at Mission San José, the rodeo and Trace Adkins on Tuesday and then we’ll celebrate Bryan’s birthday on Wednesday (it is on the 20th but we won’t be there). Oh, and don’t forget REAL Mexican food…yum! We fly back home on Thursday, the 18th and while J goes back to school that Friday, I don’t go back to work till Monday, the 22nd. Woohoo! Can you tell Jacey is excited too?!

Bryan is doing well in his 1U0X1 training. He has made a 97.5, 95 and 92.5 on his tests so far and only has one more on the 12th. Poor guy is so ready to be done though and he still has one more class to go after this one, plus 3 months of FTU once we move. They definitely never said retraining was fast…LOL! He is excited though, because they went last week and got sized for their flight suits (they get to start wearing them as soon as they graduate this first class) and yesterday, he got his name badge in.

Still no word on orders though. Everyone else in the class got them this past Monday, except 4 people and of course we have to be one of those 4. It’s really a no brainer, there is only one base option for us medically but it would be nice to have the *official* word. They plan to call the chief tomorrow and find out what the hold up is, since it is not normal for some to get them and not all. We shall see.

Anyway, I’d better head to bed. Even though I don’t have to work tomorrow, I do have to get up with Jacey and then go get my allergy shots, hit the gym (I really wanted to run outside but the rain won’t allow that) and the commissary for a few things to get us through the next few days till we fly out.

1. A fabulous stylist and new hair :).

2. Bills are paid.

3. It waited to rain till after I was home from all my errands today.

4. My huge project at work is complete (till the next one at the end of February) and I want to go to work again…LOL!

5. Bryan.

You know that knee tweaking I talked about in my last post?! Yeah, it is still here and the consensus is that is is probably IT Band Syndrome..fun times :(. The best solution is to stay off of it, ice it and take anti-inflammatories (like I have time to stay off of it being a single mom right now…sigh). So, that means no running, elliptical, biking, lunges, squats, practically anything for at least a week after the injury, which means, I am out till Wednesday. Boo. So long as I can run with Bryan when we go see him, that is all I ask (oh, and be able to walk through the airport without the pain I am in now would be good too).

Anyway…

So, the whole weight thing…I’ve really been giving it a lots of thought in the past few days. When does enough become enough? Am I happy here or do I TRULY want to go lower or am I only set on going lower because I feel that is what I am expected to do? Like, I had surgery so I am expected to be tiny and if I gain 5 pounds, I am a failure?! I dunno. Originally, I had my goal set at 160 which was lower than what I weighed when Bryan and I got married. I was happy there. But, a few months into the process, I set a second goal for 140 because, well, I don’t know why. Maybe because it put me into a “normal” BMI?! Maybe because I am so short I felt like I needed to be smaller than 160, who knows. But, I was HAPPY at 165 and I am lower than that now.

Well, I have decided enough is enough. I am tired of constantly thinking about those “last few pounds”, tired of feeling guilty if I want a dessert. Heck, my original non-weight goal was to be able to shop anywhere again, i.e. a size 14. I am now a size 8/10 (I would be a solid 8 if I could get a tummy tuck but let’s not go there, very frustrated with the military about that issue) and finding clothes that fit is no issue. In fact I would LOVE to be done if only for the fact that I would allow myself to actually buy clothes again. This having a skeleton wardrobe because I don’t want to “waste” money sucks.

Done. I am done. I plan to keep up with my exercise because like I said in my last post it is a part of me now. Still make healthy choices but not focus on losing weight. I am also leaning towards moving my weigh-ins to every 2 weeks as opposed to every week. Bryan loves me the size I am now (not that he ever didn’t love me, but he actually told me tonight that I was perfect), now I need to learn to love ME.

So, apparently Monday was my 18 month bandiverary. It hadn’t even really clicked with me until today when I ready Amy’s 1 year bandiversary post and I started thinking about how long ago my surgery was. *shrug*

I’m at the point that I no longer really *think* about my band. Sure, I still want to get these stinkin’ last 20 pounds off but in my day to day life it doesn’t cross my mind (of course, ask me this after my next fill when Dr. Nye thinks I’ll be at my sweet spot). My exercise is the norm, in fact I am really irritated that I had to take a rest day today (I tweaked my knee yesterday, NOT during my 1.5 mile trail run but during my my 0.5 mile cool down walk on a track…sigh) and I have learned what to eat and not eat and to slow down. Now, it is just a lifestyle.

Don’t get me wrong, I still like to keep up with a certain few banded friends and will give my advice/experiences to anyone that asks but I am past the point of it being a focus. The first year, it consumed my thoughts and now, it is rarely a thought. Funny how life works :).